Wow, in 15 minutes it will be the month of September. That means it's been almost 2 months since I have posted anything on here. I feel pretty bad about that. I started this and meant to keep it up at least being able to post weekly. Let me tell you folks that don't have children something about time. Once your child enters this world "your time" or "free time", it no longer exists. Now please do not think of this as a negative thing, I love being with my son. I just have started to realize how I never was very disciplined with how I used my time before he was born. Now that I have less of it, I have had no idea how to use the free moments. My goal is to get back in the habit of writing here at least once a week again.
That being said, things are changing around here. Elliott is now 3 months old! Yes I am biased but this kid is really cute. The emotions that come with being a parent are so complex and intense it can be hard to describe. I guess that the best way that I can put it is that I feel complete when I am with my son. Before Elliott was born my co-worker Annette told me that you don't know what true love is until you have a child. I have thought about this and I really believe it to be true. I think Summer would agree with me on this. With a partner you make a choice to love that person based on certain qualities both positive and negative. And in this respect I am a very lucky man, because I am definitely not perfect. The thing about a baby is that you love that child without knowing anything about them. It is truly unconditional love when you have a child of your own. Watching him grow and develop before your eyes is amazing. I cannot believe I get to experience this. On my last day of work for the week I cannot wait to get home and spend time with my son. I don't think there is anything more special than that I could experience in my life at this point.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
rapid decompression
A few nights ago I came home from work late, a little after 10pm. Elliott was crying, he had been fussy all day. I sat down with him in the rocking chair that we are borrowing and rocked him until he fell asleep. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary about this but I felt like I was able to slow down enough to appreciate being there with my son in that moment. I love him so much. It was my favorite moment of being a father since he was born.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Elliott Joseph Izay
So about a week ago I sat down to write a blog realizing that I had been home for close to two weeks and had not written anything about Elliott's birth. So I was working on a writing it all out when somehow I accidentally deleted it. I was too frustrated to retype everything I just wrote so I turned it off. I will give it another try.
Today Elliott is 3 weeks old. He was born at 5:15am on May 27, 2010 and weighed 8 lbs. and 2oz. We checked in to the hospital Wednesday evening the 26th and were going to induce Thursday morning. Summer began having heavy contractions around 2-2:30 in the morning. She went from 2cm dialated to 10cm in about an hour, pushed for about 10 to 15 minutes and our son was born. So we were in labor for a little less than 3 hours. I was under the assumption that this usually took anywhere from 12 to 24 hours so I was prepared for that. I was not expecting 3 hours, that's crazy talk!
So everything went really smoothly, and everyone is happy and healthy. The first few days home from the hospital were a little scary. Here you are with a little baby who has no idea where he is or what is going on, and all of the nurses, doctors, family members who have been helping you are gone. But we are adjusting well, and Elliott is great. Lately some of his favorite things to do are eat, sleep, poop, cry and scream.
I need to be better about updating this a little more often. It's hard to do when you have a little baby to hang out with instead. I'm really excited he is here.
Today Elliott is 3 weeks old. He was born at 5:15am on May 27, 2010 and weighed 8 lbs. and 2oz. We checked in to the hospital Wednesday evening the 26th and were going to induce Thursday morning. Summer began having heavy contractions around 2-2:30 in the morning. She went from 2cm dialated to 10cm in about an hour, pushed for about 10 to 15 minutes and our son was born. So we were in labor for a little less than 3 hours. I was under the assumption that this usually took anywhere from 12 to 24 hours so I was prepared for that. I was not expecting 3 hours, that's crazy talk!
So everything went really smoothly, and everyone is happy and healthy. The first few days home from the hospital were a little scary. Here you are with a little baby who has no idea where he is or what is going on, and all of the nurses, doctors, family members who have been helping you are gone. But we are adjusting well, and Elliott is great. Lately some of his favorite things to do are eat, sleep, poop, cry and scream.
I need to be better about updating this a little more often. It's hard to do when you have a little baby to hang out with instead. I'm really excited he is here.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
UPDATE!
Just got back from the doctor. He is sending us to the hospital today to induce labor. We are going to the hospital at 4pm today. Elliott will be here sometime today or tomorrow! More info soon...
due date
Today is Elliott's due date. I don't think he realizes that his Mother HATES being late for anything. No sign of labor yet. We go to the doctor in an hour for our weekly check up. Thanks to everyone for phone calls, texts, comments. We are doing great, just anxious to finally have him join us. We will keep you updated...
Did anyone catch the series finale of Lost? I was skeptical throughout this final season that I would be happy with the way it ends, but I thought it was a perfect way to end the show.
Did anyone catch the series finale of Lost? I was skeptical throughout this final season that I would be happy with the way it ends, but I thought it was a perfect way to end the show.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
on a lighter note...
I have been going to the grocery store a little more often these days. In the past Summer has done most of the shopping. I am trying to help out. I work for Trader Joe's but there is a big difference between a little market and a mega store like Vons or Albertsons. Honestly the only reason that I go there is convenience. I'm not huge fan of Vons but it is right around the corner from our house so we tend to shop there sometimes.
Sometime within the past few years it became a standard for these big mega stores to have a coffee stand inside them, usually it is Starbucks. The Vons we go to is no different. They have a Starbucks right by the entrance of the store. They also have a bunch of tables and chairs where you can sit and drink your beverage which I had never noticed before, until yesterday. As we were walking around shopping I noticed three elderly ladies sitting at these tables just sitting and hanging out with their coffee. I started cracking up with laughter. I think it is awesome that these elderly ladies have each other to hang out with. It actually makes me feel good to see elderly people interacting with each other. The reason that I found this so funny is that these ladies probably called each other up to get together and decided, "Let's meet at Starbuck's, you know the one inside the Vons." The real kicker here is that there is a real Starbucks about 20 feet away from Vons in the very same parking lot, yet these three elderly ladies prefer the cold empty atmosphere that a mega store like Vons provides. Okay, maybe I am the only one that finds this funny. One of those things you had to be there for.
Today is exactly one week until Elliott's due date(May 26). This means that he will be arriving one way or the other within the next three weeks. I know I can speak for Summer when I say that we are both getting pretty anxious at this point...
Sometime within the past few years it became a standard for these big mega stores to have a coffee stand inside them, usually it is Starbucks. The Vons we go to is no different. They have a Starbucks right by the entrance of the store. They also have a bunch of tables and chairs where you can sit and drink your beverage which I had never noticed before, until yesterday. As we were walking around shopping I noticed three elderly ladies sitting at these tables just sitting and hanging out with their coffee. I started cracking up with laughter. I think it is awesome that these elderly ladies have each other to hang out with. It actually makes me feel good to see elderly people interacting with each other. The reason that I found this so funny is that these ladies probably called each other up to get together and decided, "Let's meet at Starbuck's, you know the one inside the Vons." The real kicker here is that there is a real Starbucks about 20 feet away from Vons in the very same parking lot, yet these three elderly ladies prefer the cold empty atmosphere that a mega store like Vons provides. Okay, maybe I am the only one that finds this funny. One of those things you had to be there for.
Today is exactly one week until Elliott's due date(May 26). This means that he will be arriving one way or the other within the next three weeks. I know I can speak for Summer when I say that we are both getting pretty anxious at this point...
Monday, May 17, 2010
and now for something completely similar....
The internet is a crazy place these days, as if I need to tell you this. You are reading a blog(just the word blog itself should give you proof of my statement of how weird the internet is) written by me. I'm not famous. I haven't done anything of significance other than to be a functioning member of society, to deserve this space to share my thoughts with the five people that read this blog. Yet here I am with my own little corner of the inter web. That is the thing about the internet, between blogs, social networking sites like facebook and twitter you can connect with people and know what is going on at any moment of the day. I have to admit, there are things about this that are really cool. I use facebook and I have reconnected with people that I don't get to talk to all the time or haven't seen in some time. Or it is fun to see what people are up to on a day to day basis without having get on the phone with them(I'm not a fan of talking on the phone). While I do use the facebook lately I have begun to think that there are some things about these sites that are driving me crazy.
First, when you sign up for these sites you get to choose who you want to be friends with. You DON'T get to choose who your friends choose to be friends with. If you post something on one of these pages anyone of your friends can comment on what you have to say. This is where things get interesting/ugly(What's up Darryl!). We are living in a pretty intense political and socio-economic climate these days. Naturally people are going to use their voice to express how they feel about what is currently going on around them. Before I go on let me say that I do not have a problem with this whatsoever. I believe with all of my heart that whether I agree or disagree I try to respect peoples opinions and where they are coming from. I understand that what I think(I'm not even going to get into my politics, I'll save it for later) is not going to be the same as other people. That is fine with me. I know, I'm weird because I don't want to fight and argue my political beliefs on the internet. I'm not disrespecting the people that do, actually I respect these people a whole lot for being passionate enough to speak up about what they belief in. Maybe I'm just suffering from apathy and exhaustion(a little reference for the punkers).
Here is one thing that I will not tolerate having to read on the internet: blatant racism. Yes the new Arizona immigration law is stirring up the pot around the country right now.(I am not going to comment on this law itself as I do not know all of the information on it and I am not really here to start a debate) One of my really good buddy's posted something about this on his facebook page. Like I said I have no problem with someone expressing their opinion in an appropriate way. Well some random guy that I don't know left a comment that said "dumb ass beans". That was the whole comment. This made me pretty angry. Another guy posted a comment, and then my friend Cristina posted a comment that was saying that she did not agree with what was posted. Well, the same guy that posted "dumb ass beans" made another comment telling Cristina that she said one of the most uneducated things he had ever heard. WHAT! This guy just not only degraded a whole race of people by using an extremely offensive term to describe them but he also generalized a WHOLE RACE OF PEOPLE by saying they are all dumb. And then he had the nerve to say that her opinion was uneducated. I really couldn't believe this guy was so ignorant that he couldn't see what he just did there(or maybe he wasn't THAT ignorant because when I looked later the comment was removed). I'm sorry but I am friends with and work with a large number of Hispanic people who are very intelligent,funny, warm, caring and generous human beings. Way to go random white guy from, you just proved that racism is still alive and well.
I know that racism still exists. I am not naive. But I really hate it with all of my heart, I really do. One could make the argument that just because you use a racial slur or make a little joke does not make you racist. I'm calling BS on this. If it is important enough to make a comment out loud or where people can read it and that comment is making a negative generalization about a WHOLE group of people then there is something inside you that is making you angry and hateful. I am not claiming that I am perfect and have never had a thought like this before in my life. As human beings I think at times these thoughts can come to us unintentionally. But I believe that it is something that you should fight off or just keep it to yourself if you really are ok with that type of negative thinking.
You have probably read this far and wondered, "Wow, Josh I thought this blog was supposed to be about your son that is about to be born, not the internet, politics and racism". Ahhh, you are right but this blog really is about my son. Getting ready to be a father has made me think about this more because I am thinking about what I am going to teach my son when it comes to politics, equality, race, the internet, sexual orientation and all kinds of heavy subjects. It can be hard to come to conclusions when some of these topics are so heavy and complicated. I just want my son to be able to respect people no matter what they believe or who they are or what they look like. One of the things I have loved about growing up in California is the diversity. I want my son to grow up and be exposed to different cultures as much as possible.
One thing I do know that I will teach him regardless of any of these things is LOVE. At the risk of sounding like a hippy(and I really don't want to sound like a hippy), I think that love has power to make a difference in this world(yep, I sound like a hippy). I work in a grocery store and every day I see people come through there that seem really miserable. Not all of them, in fact most of our customers are great. But I do deal with a percentage of people that seem really miserable. And I understand that I don't know them or what they have gone through. But I do know that this life is a gift and I feel really blessed to be able to be here. I wish I could make other people feel that same feeling. It feels amazing to be here, right now, with all of these people I know and care about. And when it comes down to it what race, political belief, religion, sexual orientation you have does not matter to me. What kind of person you are and how you treat others is the most important thing to me. And appreciating the people that love you as well as loving the people that you don't even know are both very important to me. This is what I hope more than anything I can teach my son. I am very far from having it all together, but if I can model these things then I might be on the right track...
***I apologize for any grammatical errors. I also apologize if I offended anyone by anything I said, just trying to speak from the heart. I guess I'm not that much different from anyone else posting comments on the internet, ha!
First, when you sign up for these sites you get to choose who you want to be friends with. You DON'T get to choose who your friends choose to be friends with. If you post something on one of these pages anyone of your friends can comment on what you have to say. This is where things get interesting/ugly(What's up Darryl!). We are living in a pretty intense political and socio-economic climate these days. Naturally people are going to use their voice to express how they feel about what is currently going on around them. Before I go on let me say that I do not have a problem with this whatsoever. I believe with all of my heart that whether I agree or disagree I try to respect peoples opinions and where they are coming from. I understand that what I think(I'm not even going to get into my politics, I'll save it for later) is not going to be the same as other people. That is fine with me. I know, I'm weird because I don't want to fight and argue my political beliefs on the internet. I'm not disrespecting the people that do, actually I respect these people a whole lot for being passionate enough to speak up about what they belief in. Maybe I'm just suffering from apathy and exhaustion(a little reference for the punkers).
Here is one thing that I will not tolerate having to read on the internet: blatant racism. Yes the new Arizona immigration law is stirring up the pot around the country right now.(I am not going to comment on this law itself as I do not know all of the information on it and I am not really here to start a debate) One of my really good buddy's posted something about this on his facebook page. Like I said I have no problem with someone expressing their opinion in an appropriate way. Well some random guy that I don't know left a comment that said "dumb ass beans". That was the whole comment. This made me pretty angry. Another guy posted a comment, and then my friend Cristina posted a comment that was saying that she did not agree with what was posted. Well, the same guy that posted "dumb ass beans" made another comment telling Cristina that she said one of the most uneducated things he had ever heard. WHAT! This guy just not only degraded a whole race of people by using an extremely offensive term to describe them but he also generalized a WHOLE RACE OF PEOPLE by saying they are all dumb. And then he had the nerve to say that her opinion was uneducated. I really couldn't believe this guy was so ignorant that he couldn't see what he just did there(or maybe he wasn't THAT ignorant because when I looked later the comment was removed). I'm sorry but I am friends with and work with a large number of Hispanic people who are very intelligent,funny, warm, caring and generous human beings. Way to go random white guy from, you just proved that racism is still alive and well.
I know that racism still exists. I am not naive. But I really hate it with all of my heart, I really do. One could make the argument that just because you use a racial slur or make a little joke does not make you racist. I'm calling BS on this. If it is important enough to make a comment out loud or where people can read it and that comment is making a negative generalization about a WHOLE group of people then there is something inside you that is making you angry and hateful. I am not claiming that I am perfect and have never had a thought like this before in my life. As human beings I think at times these thoughts can come to us unintentionally. But I believe that it is something that you should fight off or just keep it to yourself if you really are ok with that type of negative thinking.
You have probably read this far and wondered, "Wow, Josh I thought this blog was supposed to be about your son that is about to be born, not the internet, politics and racism". Ahhh, you are right but this blog really is about my son. Getting ready to be a father has made me think about this more because I am thinking about what I am going to teach my son when it comes to politics, equality, race, the internet, sexual orientation and all kinds of heavy subjects. It can be hard to come to conclusions when some of these topics are so heavy and complicated. I just want my son to be able to respect people no matter what they believe or who they are or what they look like. One of the things I have loved about growing up in California is the diversity. I want my son to grow up and be exposed to different cultures as much as possible.
One thing I do know that I will teach him regardless of any of these things is LOVE. At the risk of sounding like a hippy(and I really don't want to sound like a hippy), I think that love has power to make a difference in this world(yep, I sound like a hippy). I work in a grocery store and every day I see people come through there that seem really miserable. Not all of them, in fact most of our customers are great. But I do deal with a percentage of people that seem really miserable. And I understand that I don't know them or what they have gone through. But I do know that this life is a gift and I feel really blessed to be able to be here. I wish I could make other people feel that same feeling. It feels amazing to be here, right now, with all of these people I know and care about. And when it comes down to it what race, political belief, religion, sexual orientation you have does not matter to me. What kind of person you are and how you treat others is the most important thing to me. And appreciating the people that love you as well as loving the people that you don't even know are both very important to me. This is what I hope more than anything I can teach my son. I am very far from having it all together, but if I can model these things then I might be on the right track...
***I apologize for any grammatical errors. I also apologize if I offended anyone by anything I said, just trying to speak from the heart. I guess I'm not that much different from anyone else posting comments on the internet, ha!
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